The Issues

OUR PLATFORM: It’s all about hope. Change. A clear, new path. And squeaky toys.

High Priorities:

  1. A fire hydrant on every corner

    All we are saying is give pee a chance.

  2. Equal treats for equal tricks

    The tricks need not be identical, but they must be substantially equal. It is trick content, not trick titles, that determines whether tricks are substantially equal. Or something like that.

  3. Benefits for working dogs

    Dogs save lives, see for the blind and keep our borders safe. Would a little 401k and maybe some dental be out of the question?

  4. Additional belly rubs

    Ooohhh. Ooohhh. Oh yeah, right there. Oh! Ohhhhh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, yes! Oh! Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes!

  5. Abolishing the leash laws

    It’s time to throw off the chains of oppression and run free and unfettered in the wet grass. Oh, and roll in smelly things.

  6. Tax breaks for Frisbee manufacturers

    We must ensure that future generations enjoy a set of Frisbee-playing opportunities that is undiminished relative to those of the present. Just sayin’.

  7. Turning Gitmo into a dog park

    Some trees. Some sky. Some fresh air. Who wouldn’t like that?

  8. Expanded car rides

    Yeah, we know. There are like rising gas prices and dependence on foreign oil. But what the hey?